the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
