When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
