he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
