K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
