Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
