hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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