So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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