Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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