Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
