i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
