life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
