I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
