I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
