what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
