i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
