I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
