I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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