guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize