My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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