I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
