Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
