I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
