The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
