Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
