what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He did a backflip because drugs
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
