he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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