That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
vagina is talking i cant
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
