I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
