? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
