I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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