Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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