every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
