They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
