No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I need moral support for this bender
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
