They should really pass out barf bags in church
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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