i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My vagina just recognized that song.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
