i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
