so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize