got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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