he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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