I'm gonna have a badass scar
Pappa wants mamma naked
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize