I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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