If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
