toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
my poor anus
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
