its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
