the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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