i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize