Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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