Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
