Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
