Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
