She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize