I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
