Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
