u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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