It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
COCAINE IS GR8
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