p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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