i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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