Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
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Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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