the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
