Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
