If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
