remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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