I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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