she looked like the before picture.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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