I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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