Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
