we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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