Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
