opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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