Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
