Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
